Another Friday

Oh, yeah. This blog.

I saved another mannequin's life this past week. Even though I swore I was going to let the next one die, I don't have it in me. So I did compressions and my lovely assistant did worked the ambu bag and in the end everything was fine.

My lovely assistant is the wide-eyed girl of twenty who I spoke of in a previous blog post. (Maybe?) She is the one who wears blue contact lenses and dyes her hair blonde and she told me this week that she has had two nose jobs. And she is lovely and all of twenty and she makes me realize that I wouldn't pay a dime, not one thin dime, to go back to twenty. Thirty, maybe. Twenty, no.

This week I aced an exam. 98.6% aced it. That was nice.

This week: I drove to clinicals in the dark. I drove to the far off campus in the dark. I forgot to register. I got a hug from a woman I haven't seen in two terms. During some specialized training session, I sat next to a woman I like but who probably needs someone to tell her that she needs to shower daily. Daily.

I watched a season of Cybill--or at least let it play as I fell asleep. I used to watch that show back when it was on in the 90s and now it's back on Netflix, so I press play and fall asleep to it. I used to fall asleep to The Andy Griffith Show and before that The Dick Van Dyke Show and before that 30 Rock....and there were others: Futurama for a time (but it's too loud to sleep to, really), and a soporific British show called Escape to the Country. Oh, and that Great British Bake Off show. I slept to that. And that series that Julia Child did with Jacques Pepin back in the 80s (?). That's a good one to sleep to.

And I should be sleeping now--it's just past midnight--but I'm all wired for some reason.

We've begun the long slide into winter now, seems like, and it's getting dark by five in the afternoon. By seven, it's pitch black out and feels like midnight.

I'm lacking some elemental motivation right now. It manifests itself mainly in school. I'm keeping up, but I'm not pushing myself when I should. And I'm tired. I'm always tired.

I spent the day at the books, in front of the computer, about nine hours on two assignments that were due today. I got up with an evil headache and I took some ibuprofen, which I never, ever do. (I wonder if that's why I can't sleep.)

Do you know W. H. Auden? Here's a snippet of one of his poems that is one of my poetic earworms. I sometimes find it going around and around and around in my head.

‘O plunge your hands in water,
   Plunge them in up to the wrist;
Stare, stare in the basin
   And wonder what you’ve missed.

‘The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
   The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
   A lane to the land of the dead.