Today We March

Friday:

The second day of clinicals was devoted to patient care. The guy I was caring for was...nice, I guess. He had a sitter (that is, a med tech who sits by his bed for 12 hours straight before handing him off to another med tech who then sits by his bed for 12 hours straight....and on and on. Sitters are often used for suicidal patients, though that wasn't the case this time.) In the late morning, the patient's wife brought his dog in to visit with him and it was very sweet. I brought the dog some water. She napped on the bed throughout the morning.

After, we had a post-conference working lunch. The day wasn't very taxing, but I was tired by the end of it. (Not enough sleep, up at 4:00 a.m., not enough caffeine, not enough water.) We had to talk about various aspects of our patient's lives/care/condition and I drew "stress and coping," and "fluid and electrolytes." For the first, I encouraged more dog-patient interactions. For the second, I reported perfectly normal lab values and a patient who drinks enough water. Yawn.

Here's a little healthcare tip for you: If you think you have an infection--anywhere--get that shit seen to immediately. Septicemia is no joke and it's more common than you might think.

Then I came home, worked on and submitted some homework and then lay down to watch some videos on youtube. I'm tired. I have a huge exam coming up, but all I want to do is lie in bed and watch videos.

Last night, I was not so tired. Dave and I went out to dinner (ramen) and then to Target. We came home with lots of stuff, including some things that we needed (cat food, cat litter) and some things that we didn't (three kinds of antacids). Though I had been up since 4:00 a.m., I was only just starting to get tired around 9:00 p.m. while I was looking up information on my patient's condition.

Saturday:

I had a migraine. I had a migraine. I had a migraine. My stomach was involved. My vision was involved. (I've been getting them more frequently since starting school.)

Dave went off to his clarinet lesson. I stayed in bed until about one, when I took an ibuprofen and decided to pretend that I was better. So I got up and got dressed and Dave and I went to the fabric shop and I talked to the guy who fixes sewing machines (his name is Jeremi) because something had me online the other night looking at auction sites for a treadle machine like the one my grandmother used to have. (Wouldn't that be something?) I walked out of the store with a few yards of fabric, including some prints from Australia and one gray and lime print from the clearance wall. I came home and, despite my migraine, I put my new fabric in the washing machine and I set up my sewing machine and sewed wonky log cabin blocks out of scraps.

Dave went off to visit his mother.

About two in the afternoon, I had a massive panic attack, the likes of which I haven't had in a year or more. It was frightening and nightmarish and I ended up having to walk out the front door into the yard to get away from it. Thankfully, it didn't last long and I figured out that part of it was from low blood sugar, so I had a snack (an apple and a few bites of cheese) and I went back to sewing.

I should have been studying. But here's the thing: I have a massive exam on Wednesday, one where the rumor is that the average is usually around 60% (this according the instructor, who I spoke to during office hours, and who assured me that, despite that, the vast majority of students passed the level), so....I could kill myself studying and try to get above that 60% or I could study my usual amount, get my 60% or so, and move on. So I decided not to kill myself studying, but to go over the notes, do some reading (the exam covers close to 30 chapters of medical textbook reading that we were supposed to have done in, like 10 days, which--hahaha!!), and memorize what I need to memorize.

And this is funny (as in fucked up and sad): I went to the instructor's office hours to ask her about some material (which makes up about a third of the exam and which she covered in class by showing us three youtube videos--yes, really--and I wanted to ask some specific questions about that material. Her response was that she really didn't have a good way to explain it and maybe I should rewatch the youtube videos once a day until the exam. Yes, really. And if you doubt that she actually said that to me, you can ask the other student who was sitting there with me when she said it.

Can I get a refund on my tuition for shit like this, do you think?)

Sunday:

Today David, our friend Chris, and I are joining the second day of protests against the fucking white supremacist, racist moron who stole the white house with help from Putin and who is wrecking the fucking country. I fucking swear, I could smash every idiot who continues to support him despite his stupidity. He told us who he was and there were a lot of stupid people who didn't believe him. Now you know why con men target elderly people and morons. 

If you're not marching today, then go and look at pictures and read the stories of the people in Puerto Rico--Americans!--who that fucking moron is refusing to help because he hates brown people. (And read some stories about how many IV fluids and other drugs are manufactured in Puerto Rico and how the lack of help for Puerto Ricans is translated into shortages in the hospitals where I will shortly be working.)

Next time vote like you care about the fucking world and the people in it, okay?