Yesterday Dave, my mother, aunt, and I started the sad task of clearing out my brother's apartment. My aunt and mother took a few things. Dave and I will bring his books and collectables here. I'll keep his t-shirts to use in quilts. It was a rough day.
Kelly and Kevin are just around the corner and they kindly took us in for lunch. We had pizza and subs and sat outside under a gray sky. Lester and Olive came around to beg for food and I can't help but feed them. (They had treats from me and a couple of potato chips each.) We went back to work for a bit after that, loading the truck with filled boxes and totes.
There is still more work to be done, so Dave and I will return to finish up soon. I have yet to pack my brother's books. (The one beside his bed that he was only partway through makes me want to weep whenever I think about packing it up.) We had to take today off because it's just too hard emotionally on both of us. I feel like I got kicked apart yesterday and I know Dave does too. Today, he had some work-related things to finish up and I did some sewing--not much, a few seams, trying to take my mind off things.
I've edited this to remove too much personal information, but an additionally shortened version of this was published in the Journal this past Friday:
Rudy was born on March 19, 1968. He showed an indomitable spirit in the face of many battles with health issues but passed away suddenly at home on the morning of December 28, 2024, at the age of 56. Rudy attended Valley High School where he lettered in wrestling. He loved to cook and worked for JB's Restaurants for over 20 years before an injury ended his career. Throughout his life, he enjoyed engaging in his hobbies of reading Japanese manga, science fiction and fantasy novels, and collecting unique anime figures. Rudy also enjoyed entertainment and media and had wide ranging tastes that included everything from The Andy Griffith show to Japanese anime to horror movies. Even after retiring from restaurant work, he still continued to follow restaurant food trends with interest and he enjoyed cooking at home. He was kind, generous, and empathetic, though a very private man. His sensitive nature led him to enjoy observing and commenting on the wildlife around him, from the migrating sandhill cranes to the smallest blue-tailed lizards that lived around his apartment door and who sometimes invited themselves in for a visit.
Rudy had a big heart and left a big impression on everyone he met. He was a beloved son, brother, friend, nephew, and uncle. His family are devastated by his death and he will be intensely missed by those who were close to him. He was pre-deceased by his brother, his grandmother, his beloved Camile, and his father. He is survived by his mother, sister, brother-in-law and closest friend, aunt, niece, great-niece, and many cousins. Per his request, there will be no services, but his family would like all to remember him in their own way.
On the way home from picking up more food for Gray Kitty today, Dave and I tried to remember some happy memories of my brother. Dave has been in our lives for almost forty years, so there are many.
I told Dave about how my brother had tried to teach me how to drive on the freeway. He was 14 and it was his job to teach me how to drive (because my parents were often useless), I was 11, my younger brother Scotty was 9. The three of us had my parents' car (I think back then it was a moss green 1979 Chevy Impala, about the size of an ocean liner) and about $5 in gas money (which was a lot back then) and we would put gas in the car and then take turns driving around the city. Rudy asked if I wanted to try driving on the freeway and I said yes, so he directed me to a freeway entrance. I didn't know that you had to merge, so I got on the on ramp and sped up and it turned into the off ramp and then I was off the freeway. He was, like, you have to merge! But I had no idea what that meant and even though he explained it to me, I think he was kind of disgusted when I told him that I didn't want to try that again, maybe ever. (But he was not as disgusted as when he was teaching me how to back out of our long driveway in my father's truck and I ran over the fence post and then immediately burst out laughing. He just looked at me and then walked me into the house so that I could tell my parents what had happened. They were not amused either, though it turns out all I had done was tip the fence post in the soft dirt and it was easily straightened.)
In case you were wondering what we looked like back then, this is from that approximate era: