Onward, Soldier

First, happy Easter! 

Easter makes me think a lot of my brothers. We used to have a lot of fun on Easter. We weren't a church-going family at all, so Easter was cute outfits (when we were younger, mostly), baskets,  egg dye sessions, making cascarones (confetti filled eggshells), egg hunts and candy. We used to make so many cascarones that we would smash on each other's heads. (Now you can buy them commercially made, which cracks me up.) We would also typically go to my grandmother's house for lunch and she would have made a ham and a million things to go with it, mashed potatoes and gravy and chile and salad and rolls and some dessert like apple cake or cookies. Sometimes we would re-hide our eggs in her yard and hunt for them there, too. 

I miss being a kid sometimes, you know. But I miss my brothers more.

As far as not updating my blog for awhile, I keep starting updates and then abandoning them a few sentences in. There hasn't been much going on, but there is some. So here's a quick rundown:

My incision is completely closed up. That is a wonderful thing to be able to say. I still keep a bandage on it because it cushions the area and I can keep it covered with Vaseline as the new skin forms over the area. But it is completely closed up! 

I started with a new physical therapist. I'm not sure how I'm going to like her, but I'll try out the first few sessions I have scheduled and see. The nice thing is that it's a bit more affordable than the other PTs I've seen in the recent past.

I got a new mattress. Of course it's standing on it's side nowhere near the bed, but that is to be expected. At some point, I'll get to sleep on it!

Dave had his first colonoscopy last Wednesday. For mine, I did the traditional prep and it was fine (the anticipation of its being awful was far worse than the actual experience) but Dave did the Miralax prep. After watching what he went through (headache, nausea, cramping, chills, vomiting), I'll stick with the traditional prep, thank you. I had none of those side effects.  But things look generally good and I'm glad for that. 

In less TMI news, the hummingbirds are back. Our feeders have been out for a couple of weeks, but a couple of days ago, the hummers started to visit them. Now we have to be a bit more assiduous about keeping them clean and topped off. 

The weather was far too hot (in the 90s) but then around April 1st, we had the usual storm come through with cold, rain, and even snow in the mountains, and since then it's been cooler. Next week though, we start climbing back into the 80s and I'm sure the sky's the limit after that.

Am I spending more time outdoors, enjoying the weather? Lol, no. I've been inside on a BBC/PBS video viewing binge. I've watched the Colin Firth version of Pride and Prejudice more times than I care to admit, not because I love Colin Firth--he's okay--but because I own it from when I used to work nights and would play bland videos to occupy my mind while I tried to sleep duing the day. In addition to watching it again, I have read the book in between viewings). I also watched the 2006 BBC version of Sense and Sensibility, the Ruth Wilson version of Jane Eyre (more BBC), and last night, the 2007 version of Persuasion with Sally Hawkins. (I think I had seen it before though and just forgotten about it. It was...meh.) 

So there was a lot of Jane Austen in there which made Amazon suggest a mini-series called Lost in Austen, with a ridiculous plot where a modern Austen loving woman trades places with Elizabeth Bennett before the action described in Pride and Prejudice. It was just dumb enough to hate watch. The actress who played the main character had a weird rubbery face and the actor who played Darcy mistook a drill sargeant's unblinking, dead-eyed sternness for Darcy's brooding charm. But it was only, like, four episodes, so I soldiered on.

Anything to distract myself from all the horrible news. 

Yay

Healing update:

The incision has been healed for about ten days (?). I am still wearing a bandage over the newly formed skin to protect and cushion the last little bit, but it isn't bleeding or oozing anymore. This is a complete relief for both me and Dave. And it makes Dave's job as a wound care nurse much, much easier. 

My energy levels are still fluctuating with some days of really low energy and some days of completely normal energy. Allergies don't help as the pollen levels have been very high which makes me feel fatigued. 

Ah, yes, allergies.  Once again my sinuses feel like someone filled them with concrete. My eyes are blurry and itchy. My skin is dry and itchy. 

Yay.

 

 

Happy Birthday, Rudy

 

Today is my older brother's birthday. He was born March 19, 1968 and would have turned 58 today. He's been gone since December 2024, just over a year. I still think about calling him with news or texting him to see how he's doing.  

 

Dave and I bought a small lemon pie for him, the kind he liked to get for himself as a treat, to put on his altar for his birthday. I miss him so much. 

When I think about all the hurt and unfairness in the world, I think about how my brother had more than his share. I hope he is in a good place now, in no pain, surrounded by love. 

Complain

I don't know when I wrote this, it's been awhile: 

 For the last several days we've been down to one bandage change a day, which is lovely. Even so, I'm still exhausted (see also bad sleep, allergies,  and hormonal issues).

Day before yesterday was another shower day but I slipped it.  I skipped it because I still need help in the shower and we pushed the time back until it got to be too late and I was just too exhausted to contemplate the hour plus that it takes to shower. I ended up showing the next day though. 

My sleep schedule is flipped around.  I am exhausted all day, nap through the day, then go to bed and lay there not sleeping most of the night. I remind myself that I am still healing from major surgery, but truthfully this is not that unusual a sleep pattern for me. I am still healing though and that does contribute to the exhaustion. 

I haven't sewn anything since we came back from Florida. 

And now to jump back into the present day:

We had lunch with my mom today, pizza and salad and pie with ice cream for dessert (it's pi day and our anniversary). 

Allergies are kicking my as right now.  My eyes are constantly itchy and my sinuses feel like someone parked a bus in them. I'm not taking anything for it, of course.  I use eye drops and saline nasal rinse, but I can't stand how antihistamines make me feel, that dried out zombie feeling. Even the ones that are supposed to be non- drowsy make me drowsy. 

I'm complaining a lot, I know. 

On and On

Yesterday 

I spent most of the day in bed watching videos. I also napped a bit and ate a lot. I have to keep reminding myself that healing takes time and energy and I don't want to impede that process my being impatient and trying to do too much too soon. But this feels beyond indulgent. A dilemma. 

Complete recovery from a procedure that's gone perfectly is 6 to 8 weeks.  And mine did not go perfectly.  In the end it will have tacked on about four additional weeks just to get to the point where the incision is closed. So... then what? Then I can raise my arms above my head again and lift things heavier than 10 pounds and start doing some exercise beyond creeping around the house tethered to my oxygen concentrator.  

But until then, rest.  Videos. 

This week my mother had cataract surgery.  Luckily my aunt was able to drive her to and from the appointments, though my mom did drive herself to her follow up appointment. 

Today 

Dave got the time wrong and ended up missing his PT appointment. There are too many plates spinning right now. It's hard to keep track of everything. 

I had therapy this afternoon, but only 30 minutes of therapy.  Therapy is too exhausting to even contemplate am hour of it. Thirty minutes goes by fast, but I still took a two hour nap after. 

We had leftovers for dinner-- leftover chuck roast and mashed potatoes for me and leftover pizza for Dave. We had to run to the pharmacy after so we stopped and picked up some groceries including a near- pint of vanilla ice cream. We never buy ice cream at the grocery store, so it was a rare treat. But unfortunately the enshittification of everything in the US continues, so a "pint" of ice cream is now 14 ounces (so it's not a pint) whipped up with added air until it fits into a pint sized container. It's just vanilla flavored nothing, not even as nice as soft serve. We had a few spoonfuls each and then tucked it away in the freezer to throw out later when it's freezer burned. 

Sigh. 

It's been a long, tiring day for some reason.