And Speaking of Trouble

Ah, the Annoying sister-in-law story came pouring out of me the minute Kelly Workout asked how things had gone while I was housesitting. No joke, pouring out. Like this:

This is the Annoying SIL Rant, bearing in my mind that I am far, far more judgmental than most people:

Did you tell her to ring the doorbell while I was there or did she think of that on her own? Well, it was fine--or would have been if she didn't fucking do it three or four or five times a day. After the second hour-long guerrilla therapy session where I was duped into playing the role of therapist, I finally started answering the door and listening to her excuse for ringing it ("I need cotton balls." "I'm just gonna do some laundry." "Hey, did you find Kelly's note?" "Here's the mail." "Do you want anything from Wendy's?") then I would retreat to the bedroom, with the door closed. Then she would KNOCK on the bedroom door, and I would answer through the door without opening it. Then she just stopped ringing the doorbell, letting herself in with a hearty, "Are you decent?" So, privacy much? And she went through my shit. It was just a stack of books on the nightstand and some clothes in a sack, but still. I could not live in a house where I had no privacy, but you probably know what that's like.

And, dude? I'm not a therapist for a reason. I don't want to hear the "I'm so worried about the Ex so I keep calling and emailing and going over there and she's just not responding so I'm even more worried so I'm going to redouble my efforts" litany. And? Stop fucking accosting me outside when I'm leaving in the morning and arriving at night. I don't want to look at your new painting and have to think of something polite to say about it. I don't.

Let's see? Anything else? Oh, yes. I used to have some sympathy for her because from your stories about her and my then-limited interaction with her, it's clear that she's lost and depressed. But that was then-sympathy. That was before I saw that she is doing absolutely nothing to get out of her rut and in fact is doing nothing so much as trying to deepen that rut. And that was before I heard her opinion about you. And after hearing her opinion about you, I have to say: Stop. Draw a line in the sand and declare war. Change the locks and set the alarm every time you leave the house. Stop doing her laundry. Stop feeding her. Stop lending her money. Stop not calling her on her using your house as a big open market where she has 24-hour access to everything you own that she wants. Stop answering the phone when she calls. Stop. Because she thinks you're kind of a sucker for doing all that stuff. So. I hate to see anyone's--your--kindnesses being repaid with big honking loogies to the face.

And what's more: You have my permission to resent her even more for not *volunteering* to care for the cats and your house while you were gone. I know you probably don't trust her or she gave you some cockamamie story about how she might go camping in Utah, but you should at least be ticked off that she doesn't offer to help you out when you are constantly helping her out.

So: I'm not impressed by her, Kelly. I'm not. And I kind of worried about telling you any of this because it's not knowledge that you can really back away from--at least I wouldn't, but not everyone's me, soooo---but just so you know: I apologize for every time I gave her the benefit of the doubt when you expressed some dismay at The Annoying SIL Situation.

See? Pouring. Sometimes I wish that The Brain had more control over the mouth. It's going to mean trouble.