Where All The White Women At?

It's Debatable

I swear, the day after a presidential debate should be a national holiday. People should be able to take an entire 24-hour period to...do...whatever it is one does to shake off the impending election dread.

And here's where I want to kick some motherfucking people off some motherfucking fences: Eight percent of voters are still undecided about who they're going to vote for in the upcoming election. Jesus Fucking Christ on a goddamn pogo stick. Eight percent of American voters are undecided? I mean, come on. Shit or get off the pot, voter. I mean you, voter.

The McCain campaign today announced: Obama Drinks Malt Liquor, Asks Where The White Women At

Ah. I was going to try to write about racism in this election, but now I'm tired. I can't even muster any righteous rage against the McCain campaign tactic of calling Obama an elite, cosmopolitan community organizer. Here's your Republican decoder ring, you figure it out.

When they say he's "elite," they mean "uppity."
When they say he's "cosmopolitan," they mean "urban" which--shhh!--really means "ghetto."
When they say he's a "community organizer," they mean "civil rights worker" which really means "negro rabble-rouser."

Here's a newsflash: Obama is a biracial man who appears--and is treated like--a black man. Michelle Obama is black. They have two children who are also black. There are black people in America. Black people exist. This fact does not put you in any danger. Breathe. Just breathe through it.

Oh, Yeeeeaaaaahhhh

I got my absentee ballot in the mail today and filled it out this afternoon. I'm dropping it off tomorrow and then--bam!--I'm done. I get to sit back and laugh at all that October surprise nonsense. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? The economy gets flushed? Ha. McCain trips and falls and the top of his head comes off and all the wiring gets all fried? Ha. Palin gets sucked up into heaven during the rapture? Ha. Deus ex machina? Not so much.