Sanctioned Deviance

I'm still sick. It's day--what?--five? Five days of being a mucus factory. Yum-yum.

Chop Wood

Despite feeling crapulux today, I dragged myself out of bed to go and tutor my niece in chemistry. She's doing a lot better now, all on her own. When we met, she had done as much as the homework as she could, and she came with questions (!), something that always thrills me. Unfortunately, she forgot her calculator (actually my calculator, which she's been using) at home, so we were both reduced to using the craptacular calculators on our cell phones. Despite that, we made it through limiting reactant and percent yield problems. So, yay, us.

Carry Water

My sickness-induced guilty pleasures have so far included lots of diet 7-up and diet Sprite, chocolate-covered pretzels, and celebrity gossip sites. My favorite site is called Dlisted. The guy who writes for this site is the meanest, funniest gay on the planet. This is what he had to say about the recently announced engagement between Harrison "Han Solo" Ford and Calista "Feed Me, Please!" Flockheart:

This past Valentine's Day, Harrison Ford got on one knee and asked Calista Flockhart to be his third wifey friend. I'm sure the happy moment was short-lived when Harrison's hip almost went out, he got a charley horse and he farted when he tried to get up. Oldies do that. And then Calista probably fell the fuck over, because the ring was too heavy for her skinny ass to hold up.

Today I spent about three hours perusing the archives of a site called Make Me Heal, which tries to determine which actors have had plastic surgery. Turns out it's pretty much all the women and almost none of the men. My favorite abstainer? Marisa Tomei. Seriously. Girlfriend is untouched by the hands of surgeons. Not even Angelina Jolie can say that.

My other sick-bed guilty pleasure are makeup application videos on youtube. No joke. I will say that, in general, I am not a girly girl and I wear makeup probably less than once a month. (I used to wear it everyday though, so I am familiar with the process.) My makeup kit is minimal. I don't even have foundation or rouge/blusher. I recently added concealer to my arsenal, something that I didn't have previously. Despite all that, I can spend hours on youtube watching women do "makeup tutorials." Those women are serious; some of them wear false eyelashes everyday. Every once in a while one of them will do a "What's in My Kit?" video that reveals thousands of dollars worth of makeup and brushes, generally MAC and Chanel and Givenchy. Trust me, these chicas aren't rolling with Max Factor. It's truly impressive. I say that as a woman who owns a single lipstick that I bought at Target.

So that's the sick role around The Casita.