Things White People Do At Weddings

Yes, it's a crappy bit of video. Your job is to watch it and figure out what those people are doing.


Yes, they're doing the chicken dance. The first time I ever saw white people do this at a wedding, I thought it was some kind of joke. Turns out it is. White people think it's funny. (Translation: It's not funny.)

Here's another thing white people do at weddings:



Again, not the best pic in the world. That's the groom, tossing the garter over his shoulder to a crowd of single guys. Oh, brown people do this same thing, but it took Kelly First to point out that all those single guys are standing there with their arms by their sides looking miserable. They'd probably look more thrilled if the groom were tossing a live rat at them. (And in fact, at this particular wedding, the garter was caught by a seven year old boy.) At a brown people wedding, needless to say, an entire mob of drunk cousins would be elbowing each other out of the way to get at that garter.

I will say that at the white people wedding, the bride tossed the bouquet to an equally unenthusiastic crowd. In fact, she had to toss the bouquet twice because the first time, the single women (all nine of us), just moved away from it and it fell on a bench behind us. On the second toss, the groom's mother caught it.