Hey, what's up?
Not much. What are you doing?
Well, right now I'm lying in bed because it's, like, 1:00 in the morning. I just ate a fuyu persimmon (fuyugaki) and a bowl of leftover pasta and sauce. Actually, I just got home from the studio. I didn't get a lot of work done because I ended up talking to Dave and Mike.
Did you get any work done?
Well, I carved a few ornaments, a jellyfish and a squid. I carved a few frames for some mixed media pieces. So there's that. I'm getting back into carving, but slowly. I forgot how much I enjoy the meditative quality of carving. But most of the time, like I said, I was talking with Dave and Mike.
Sigh. Weren't you worried about doing more talking than working at the studio?
Yes. Yes, I was. I still am. I know my chattery little monkey mind likes to be the center of attention and the life of the party. Yes, I did tell myself that I was going to buckle down and work like a little chipmunk so that I would have some stuff to hand out at Christmas. Yes, and tonight I threw all that out the window and talked with Dave and Mike for, like, four hours.
That was four hours you could have been working.
Well, you're not at all judgmental. Yes, I could have been working.
What did you talk about?
Well, here's what we didn't talk about: I've been thinking lately about how carving slows my mind down enough that I can examine some of the underlying threads that hold me together. While I'm carving I can step aside and listen to the narrative formulate itself, rather than getting all uptight trying to direct it. (Two of the pieces that I began tonight are called "Narrative Fiction," as a matter of fact.)
We didn't talk about how working in partnership with clay brings you around to an understanding of yourself; You learn about your own limitations as you learn about the limitations of the material. You learn that the relationship with clay is a true partnership. You can't fudge it if you want to produce any quality work; You can't be dishonest with your work, which means that you can't be dishonest with yourself. Those are not new ideas, but I'm stepping into them a new person. So there's that.
Well, you sidestepped my original question: What did you talk about?
Actually, I'm not sure how much of the conversation I can reveal. Much of it was not about me and my attitudes and experiences (many of which are on display here and elsewhere on the web), but about Dave and Mike. Especially Mike. His stories aren't my stories to tell, so I'm not going to put them out here. I did enjoy the conversation anyway. Here's something I can talk about, I think: Both Dave and Mike are trying out an online dating service and in the course of checking out Mike's profile (I've seen what Dave has up), I ended up having to register for the service. I have no intention of filling out the profile, despite Mike's suggestion that I do so.
Why not?
Why not what?
Why not fill out a profile?
The simplest reason is that I'm just not currently interested in dating. And I honestly feel that I have nothing substantial to offer anyone else right now. It would be unfair of me to get involved with someone. I'm just not at the point where I am comfortable thinking about entering another relationship.
And even if I were, I don't think I'd be up for the world of online dating. It's not that I had a bad experience the last time I tried it, it's just that it seemed like so much ado about nothing, yeah?
Was it interesting at least? The rest of the conversation?
Yeah, kind of. I also drank half a beer and ate chips and crackers for dinner. Not my finest hour, nutritionally speaking.
Who's that? Is that Mike?
No, that's Akira. Sigh. I don't miss Akira (if I miss anyone, I miss Kazu), but I was thinking about him tonight. When I typed in "studio" as a search term on my flickr site, this photo came up. Poor Akira. Poor dumb, gorgeous Akira.
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