Yesterday

 Yesterday we went out to the dermatologist. Things are okay. We came home via Trader Joe's where we bought too much junk food and some real food as well. We had planned to to go by my brother's apartment--there are things that need to be finished up--but neither Dave nor I could face it. It's rough, though we're coming down to the wire to get the place cleaned out. 

I ordered a new urn--one made of walnut by a woodworker in Montana--and it should be here in a few days. I told Dave that once we move the ashes, we should fill the old urn with fireplace ash and donate it to Saver's or some other for-profit store that re-sells things that people donate. It's a funny idea--my brother might even have appreciated it--but of course we won't do that.

I was exhausted when we got home. I lay down on the couch and fell asleep immediately. Dave made dinner (avocado topped chickpea pasta and salad) and I woke up long enough to eat, then I went back to bed. Of course that meant that I woke up around 1:30 in the morning and I've been up since. I watched videos online until morning. I've been binge half-watching Younger on Netflix. It started out fine but became repetitive, so repetitive by the end. I like a couple of the actors--Debi Mazar and Peter Hermann--but not enough to keep things interesting.

Time is slowly smoothing itself out, but still sometimes snarls up, stops making sense. It's better to stick to things that don't demand so much thought. (Everything seems to take too much thought right now. When did today begin, for example. Did it begin when I woke up at 1:30 a.m.? Did it begin when I got up at 7:30 to eat something and take my meds and do last night's dishes? I don't know the answer to these questions.)

Dave and I began, twenty-two days ago, to study French online, the most casually paced setting of Duolingo. Very slow. As in, twenty-two days of Bonjour, bonsoir, bonne journee, je suis une femme, je suis un homme, un chat, un chien, etc., over and over and over and over.