The Week So Far

2/11 (Tuesday)

A gloomy day, cloudy with rain over the mountains.

I'm not sleeping. At night I watch hour after hour of art restoration videos online. 

There are parts of my days when I couldn't stop crying even if I wanted to.

One of the ornaments we ordered from a glass artist on the east coast came in the mail. It incorporates some of Rudy's ashes. There are others coming, all glass pieces, from other artists.

Yesterday we shared a can of ravioli for lunch. Today we brought takeout burgers and fries home.

I did a short walk inside, following a workout video online. 

I spent some time working in my art journal. Something has to keep me sane.

2/12 (Wednesday)

Little sleep.

Started out the day at the periodontist. Any part of any day spent in a dentist's chair is a distressing day. I came home, got back into my pajamas. I cancelled PT and slept on the couch through the rest of the morning and afternoon.

Neither of us felt like cooking, so dinner was takeout from the okay Indian restaurant near us, dal and paneer, rice, naan, samosas, pakoras, tandoori chicken for me. 

I haven't done my laundry in a long time, so I had to dig for the cleanest pair of dirty cargo pants to wear when Dave and I went to pick up our dinner.

(We walked out to a stunning full moon rising above the mountains. These days the moon pulls at me like it never has before. Everything bends towards its dark brilliance.)

After dinner, I loaded the dishwasher with the dirty dishes that have been accumulating in the sink. Then I went back to bed. 

2/13 (Thursday)

Broken sleep last night with a background soundtrack of art restoration videos. 

Up in the morning to take my medication, drink Pero and lots of water to counteract the salt from dinner.

I want to try to get more sleep, but that is not possible. Instead I lie in bed until almost 10 a.m. before getting up and starting a load of laundry, a mix of Dave's things and my things. I washed a few dishes by hand, the blades for the chopper I bought recently, the Pero container that has been sitting empty for a month while we spoon the dusty powder out of the package. 

Today I'm going to go more laundry and clean the middle bathroom; it's gotten gross.