No, I Can Give You A Lesson In That If You Want

Please Guess!

The highest level class I teach is a discussion group. Today an old and new student showed up. The discussion was about the bonus and pay scales in Japan and America. One student, the new one, asked about The Kaisha’s pay and bonuses. I said to him, “There are two things The Kaisha says I can’t speak to you about. One is money. Can you guess the other?” They both thought for a moment. The new guy said, “Sexual matters?” I said, “No, I can talk to you about sex. I can talk about sex all day. I can give you a lesson if you want.” It wasn’t until he blushed that I realized what I had just said, and I laughed. “That’s a Kachi-kachi English lesson,” I said, referring to the bar upstairs where Ben and I teach the lessons The Kaisha doesn’t condone. No,” I said, “it’s not sex.”

Can you guess what it is?

Random

I open my eyes from a quick cat nap on the subway. The man opposite me, business suit, briefcase, cellphone, is staring at me. I look into his eyes until he looks away--this takes less than three seconds, and then I look past him out the window. We are at Kanda station. A monk, black robe, shaved head, briefcase is walking along the platform.

In informal Japanese conversation, when you agree with something someone’s said, you have several options of things to say. If the person has tagged their statement with a “ne?” You can answer, “Ne.” If you agree with a question, you can make the appropriate “Mmmm.” You can also say, “So so so so so,” or, “So ka,” or, “So desu ne?” or sometimes, just, “So.” Yes, I agree. “So.”

I speak to two lost tourists in Ginza. They ignore me, which makes me want to laugh. They take pictures of each other using the Ginza as a backdrop. The woman stands at the street corner, scowling. Her husband snaps away.

I have a new student for a private lesson. I haven’t met her yet, but I am excited to. Yuko, the five-year-old head teacher, and my boss, worried after interviewing her, saying, “I had to speak straight English, not at a beginner level--and it was hard. She’s very fluent.” She, the student, has come to Seth’s basic business English class once. Yuko asks Seth, “Is she more fluent than me?” Seth considers. “The same,” he says. “Sorry, Yuko,” I say. “Pack your bags. We have a new head teacher.” Seth says, “So.”

Did You Guess?

Drugs. I am not allowed to talk to students about drugs. This is because Japan is very conservative and has not even begun to experience the drug use and abuse problems that other countries have. Many of the teachers who come to Japan are recently graduated college students who, of course, have tried drugs. We are never, never, never allowed to admit to ever having tried drugs ever. One student asked a teacher and the teacher said yes and the student told her mother and the school lost a number of students over this. The teacher lost his job.

So, no. I can’t talk to students about drugs.

Sex, though, is fine. I can’t talk about sex all day. Want a lesson?

I wonder why he blushed.

Ha!