Crunch

Crunch
Originally uploaded by Tokyorosa

Here is the fuzzy cell phone photo of my fuzzy little charge Crunch. I'm taking care of Crunch while Judi and Paul are in Africa and I have to tell you that I think that taking care of a one-year-old sheepdog is like taking care of a one-year-old child. An eighty pound one-year-old child. So far, in addition to having to clean up poop and vomit, I've had to retrieve his toys from where he tossed them into the koi pond and keep him from eating rocks. Sometimes he clings to me like he's afraid I'm going to leave him forever and sometimes he can't be bothered to look my direction (mostly when I'm trying to get him to come in for the night). He always wants to come into the bathroom with me to see what I'm doing. He's destroyed a roll of toilet paper and pulled a bunch of used tissue out of the trashcan. Right now, his gassy, gassy self is laying beside me as I type this.

A couple of days ago, I got a little peeved at a young mother I met in the park who thought nothing at letting her four-year-old run up to a strange, huge dog. I mean, Crunch is a friendly dog, but who the fuck lets their kid run up to a huge, strange dog without asking first to see if the dog actually is friendly? That's some irresponsible parenting right there. That, and running at a dog that has been bred to bring down runaway sheep? Come on. He's cute, sure, but he's run into me at full speed while we're playing and eighty pounds of dog is some serious takedown action--and I'm not a stick-skinny four year old. I'm more than twice Crunch's size.

So I guess the take-home message for all you parents out there is: Think. It doesn't matter how cute my dog is, if he wanted to, he could eat your child, so ask before you let your kid run up to him--or any strange dog for that matter.

Yeah, I know, when did I get all public-service announcement, right? Sorry. Anyway, a few days with Crunch has not only reminded me that I never want children--but that those people who do often not very bright.

At least that lady in the park had more than one kid. I have a feeling that she's going to lose one in some unfortunate sheepdog-related mishap.