Girl & Monstah

Girl & Monstah
Originally uploaded by Tokyorosa

There's a crappy cell phone photo of the girl and monster pattern I drew out for the next tea towel (which is finished now, actually). The whole thing is about six inches tall. Dave said it looked like the monster wanted to be picked up, but I think he's pleading to be let go. The little girl doesn't appear to be sympathetic to his pleas. Little girls can be cruel I think.

Bionic Tooth

I forgot to tell about the latest bionic tooth happenings, so here's the update: The permanent tooth was cemented into place yesterday in an anxiety-ridden procedure that took ninety minutes from start to finish.

The new fake tooth is the last molar on the upper left side of my mouth, so it's pretty far back there. It's so far back that the x-rays they had to take kept setting off my gag reflex. I got to sit through three x-rays with my eyes watering while I fought back the urge to vomit on the dental technician. The tooth is so far back that while the dentist was checking the fit and grinding down the implant (something that she did--no joke--close to twenty times), my mouth had to be pried open for long periods of time with a certain amount of force. The result was that the tissue in the corner of my mouth was damaged so now it' s now all sore and crusty. I made the mistake of trying to yawn last night and was rewarded with a sharp pain and yet more oozy crustiness. (Didn't stop me from eating about six pounds of barbecue at Ellen's birthday party last night though.)

The good part is that now, except for some follow-up appointments to make sure that the tooth is doing what teeth do normally, it's done. Thank god.

Crunchy Karma
Oh, and tonight I went with Judi and my dog Crunch to Crunch's agility class. At first, Judi asked me as though she thought it might be something I was interested in doing since Crunch adores me so much. But thinking about it, I remembered that Judi has been having some problems with her hips recently (they are bad enough that the doctor recommended surgery, the only option that Judi refuses to entertain) and probably all the running around she has to do with Crunch during the class doesn't help. Judi never said that she wanted me to go and help out because it was bothering her hips, but later, when she reminded me about the time and place for the class, she said, "Oh, and maybe I'll let you do some of the parts where he has to run around," like she was doing me a favor or something. I was, like, Uh-huh. But whatever. It's not like my karma couldn't use a boost, so I decided to go and help out and rack up at least one good deed for the day. (What? I really did used to be a Girl Scout so I know from good deeds.)

The agility class is held at night, after dark, and it's held outdoors (which I forgot). Of course it was goddamned cold and of course all I wore over my t-shirt was the thin hoodie that I sometimes wear to the gym. Lucky me.

Before the class started I got to stand there shivering while everyone was arriving. I kept reminding myself that I was there to help Judi because of the hip thing and because of I need to work on getting my sucky karma out of the red. But it was so goddamned cold. I thought, at least I'll be running around with Crunch, so I'll warm up. What I forgot is that Judi is a huge control freak and she absolutely refuses--hip or no hip--to relinquish control of anything ever. She might have meant for me to run around with Crunch through some of the agility exercises, but when it came time to hand me his leash, she'd say, "Oh, I'll just do this one. You can do the next one." She said that over and over and then suddenly the class was finished and she had done all the exercises with Crunch and I had spent the whole class standing around in the cold with my hands in my pockets except in between exercises when I was petting Crunch.

That was my good deed for the day.

Luckily there were a couple of funny moments during the class. One woman had this little Jack Russel Terrier that, I swear, was the most willful creature ever put on this green earth. He very happily did whatever exercises he liked, but when it came time for him to do anything he didn't like, he was pure willpower. He hated, for example, the idea of going into a "down." It took two grown women to wrestle this little fourteen-pound dog into a down position. One held his hind quarters down, one pulled his front legs out from under him ( I told Judi, "They're going to be standing on him in a minute") and still he fought them and in the end he kept his bottom about an inch off the ground the whole time so he wasn't in a true down position.

Oh, and let's see. There was also a very peculiar pair, dog and owner, who must have been washing down valium with vodka tonics in the car together before the class started because they were both practically comatose. The dog was slower than everything else that is slower than molasses. Even when he was going over jumps no more than one foot at a time left the ground. At first I thought he was an old guy, but Judi assured me that he was only about two years old and, despite his present torpor, he had actually become more energetic in the months that Judi has been bringing Crunch to class. The owner, too, was a big fat zero in the personality department. Motivation-shmotivation apparently.

And the star of the evening was, alas, not Crunch, but a sweet little Shih-tzu name Shugie. Her owner told me that she is just shy of eight pounds, making her less than a tenth Crunch's size. She had a little argyle sweater on to protect her against the cold, but she was a little powerhouse. She did all the jumps like a little champ and put the big dogs to shame. She was just a happy, smiley, energetic little dog who did the agility exercises not for treats but for praise. She was not the least bit shy or intimidated by anything or anyone. Crunch just adored her and tried everything to manoeuver himself to be near her whenever they were waiting for the next exercise. At the end of the night, I got to pick up and cuddle little Shugie. (Don't tell Cynics International on me or I might lose my membership for being charmed by a step-on dog in an argyle sweater.)