Is That All There Is?

So today I finished another bachelor's degree. I wish I could say there was a more exciting end to it, but no, it was just a matter of climbing into my god-awful scrubs one last time and going to campus to meet with my faculty advisor for the evaluations regarding with my capstone/final rotation. That took 20 minutes. And then it was over. I came home and got back into my pajamas.

None of this is to say that I'm finished, not by any means. On the 13th, I have to take a Kaplan course that is supposed to prepare me for the board exams and then of course I have to take the board exams. It never ends. 

There's a graduation ceremony next week, but I'm on the fence about whether or not I'm going to attend. I've never attended any graduation ceremony ever--not my own anyway--and I don't know if I should start now. If I decide to go, I have to go on Monday to buy a cap and gown and whatever tassels are associated with the program.

I feel that end of the term let-down right now, and it seems unbelievable to The Brain that we're finished, that this isn't just another break between terms and we're going to have to go back to the grind in a few weeks. After I take the boards, I'll start applying for jobs. I could actually start applying now, but I want time off to rest and study. I'm not one of these twenty-two year olds that I've been in school with, however much The Brain likes to think we're young. I don't bounce back over the course of hours anymore. It can take days now, or longer. So I need some R&R and then some study time.

And speaking of time, tomorrow is my 47th birthday, which also seems unbelievable to The Brain. I was watching an older interview on youtube with Keanu Reeves of all people. The interviewer asked him about turning 50 (he's 53 now), and he said, "I don't believe it. What happened to my 40s?" I feel that way, too. It's no secret that time and I have had our quarrels, but I don't know exactly where all that time has gone. I know a huge chunk of it (and the memory of it) was swallowed up by depression and by sleepless nights. There was the year or three when I couldn't leave the house. And I guess there was also school, a fair amount of school.

So now what?

In the afternoon, Dave and I went out shopping. I've been looking at new sewing machines. My old one is still good, but maybe it's a bit basic and one with a few more bells and whistles would be nice. One of the big chain fabric stores is having a sale and I thought I'd check out what they have, but after seeing how they handle their sewing machines--there was no way to try one out, they're just thrown on the shelf, dusty and missing parts, etc.--we just left. I may look at one of the independent dealers over the next week or so.

So instead of buying a new sewing machine, we had dinner at an ayurvedic place and then came home via the co-op. We bought donuts, peaches, and chocolate. I am currently in a sugar coma.