The Week Only Goes So Far

Monday:

At the hospital right now, the main hospital, not the smaller, offshoot hospital where I work.  I'm here to meet with someone about the residency program, which is something they offer to new employees in my position. A friend who went through it last year says it's not worth it, but it's an extra 4 hours a week so I decided to do it anyway.

Later: I finished with that meeting and went out to wait for Dave to pick me up. While I waited, I went into Subway and ordered a couple of subs (foot-long veggie for Dave and 6-inch veggie for myself) for our lunch.

I came home, changed into my pajamas, ate my sub, and shopped online for some fabric. (I may have a problem.) Do I hit the "checkout" tab on my cart or no? Sigh....there is a beautiful butterfly print on sale. Maybe I'll let it sit in the cart for a few hours and then if it's still there, that will be a sign to go ahead and buy it. (Plus, my first paycheck is burning a hole in my pocket--or would be if I took the check to the bank.) I'm having a coffee now and thinking about getting to some sewing. (Got to use it up if I'm going to buy more.) I'm still working on my red and white quilt. I decided to just mix in all the shades of red and white and--what the hell?--go ahead and throw some pink in there for good measure. It's just a crazy-quilt style right now. No rhyme or reason to it, which I like. I'm all about sewing just to sew. Kind of like driving around different neighborhoods just because. Just to check things out or see where you end up.

Tuesday:

Feeling tired today, possibly allergies (?), but just wanting to stay in bed and sleep all day--which I didn't do (though I did sleep until about 11:30) because then when I try to get to sleep tonight, I will just lie there in bed not sleeping. And since I have to be up at 5:30 tomorrow morning for work, well...

So I slept in, but not too late (for me) and then I got up and had some blunch (breakfast lunch, even though I had eaten yogurt and frozen blueberries on an early bout of wakefulness) of Quorn nuggets with kimchi (kimchee?) on top. I sewed for a bit, working on my red and white (and pink, a little) quilt. Then I had to shower.

That is where I am now. No, not in the shower, but sitting on my bed in my robe, slowly getting ready. I have therapy at 5:00 p.m. and it's 3:37 now. So I have an hour to get ready. And I just got a call from Costco (a recording) that at least one pair (of two) glasses are ready to be picked up. Since I'm working the next three days, I probably should go tonight, but then of course I'll get a call tomorrow that my other pair are ready. What to do? What to do?

So like I said, I work tomorrow. I'll be with the older kids, which in some ways is way more heartbreaking than being with the younger kids. I think it's because the older kids seem to have less options, and you start to see some of the earliest stages of hard-to-manage or even incurable mental illnesses starting, things like bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. (I've long been terrified of schizophrenia. Like, legit terrified. When I was in middle school, I did a research report on schizophrenia because I had read somewhere that it often began in the teen years. Now I deal with patients who are developing it.)

Anyway, I don't want to think about work right now. It's my day off. It's a beautiful day outside, but hot, 95F (35 C). Too hot.

Wednesday:

I had a long day at work.  I anticipate another long day tomorrow. It rained and I missed it while admitting a new patient, an event that takes about 2 hours and which always seems to happen at the end of my 12 and a half hour shift as my brain is starting to rebel.

I'm exhausted.