Godspeed, Luann

 Dave's mother died yesterday morning.

Dave and his mother (Durango, Co)

She was ill for a long time with an atypical form of Parkinson's disease and she went on hospice only recently. She died in bed at the small care home where she has been since January. One of her long-term care givers was with her when it happened. The hospice nurse came soon after. Dave and I went a little before noon and Dave went in to say his last goodbyes. The service that Dave's sister contacted came in the afternoon to take her away. They should have her ashes in a few weeks. Dave and his sister will travel sometime after to the small horse ranch where their mother spent summers as a child and there they will scatter her ashes.

One of her horses (Durango, Co.)

 

She loved horses. We'll donate her saddle to the horse ranch here where Dave and his sister took her weekend before last and where she had her last good moments with the horses.

 She did not want a funeral or any kind of service. Today flowers arrived at our door from Judi and Dave's coworkers, condolences for Dave. We started to build a small altar on our mantle using the flowers, the flameless candles from Kelly, Dave's mother's framed doctoral degree, her box of recipes dating back to the 60s. We'll add to it as Dave finds the photos that are lost somewhere in the garage that is filled with her old furniture and books.

She and I never really got along; my grief is not for her, but it does touch on the backlog of grief that I have for my brother and grandmother and father and my friends who are gone. And I think that everyone who dies deserves mourners, even if it's just a resentful daughter-in-law.