Very Green

Some photos of some of the plants around the pond:

This mini field of white irises.

Some Mexican evening primrose.

 Some largely spent orange irises with some mini cattails and soon to bloom goldenrod.

On the far right of that photo is the little waterfall that sits above the actual pond (it drains into a little circular "river"). The little screaming frogs set up shop in that pond and start their screaming soon after sunset. They're funny, grumpy looking little things, hard to spot.

 

I went outside especially to take those photos. I mostly stay indoors because my allergies are awful. I have a few of the traditional symptoms (itchy, watery eyes, sinus congestion), but I also have this insane fatigue that starts up every year when the pollen comes to town. I feel like I got hit by a bus all day every day. (That's on top of the menopause fatigue, which itself is profound.) 

 

So that's spring. Spring is hard.

 

I've been struggling to bring the house back into order. Every day I pick a small cleaning task that has gone undone for far too long and I do that. Yesterday I wiped down kitchen cabinets and started dusting bookshelves (which sucks because I'm also allergic to the dust I'm stirring up). Today, more dusting (bookshelves and the fireplace mantel).  All the dust I kicked up earlier is making my nose itch now.

 

Yesterday, Dave moved my brother's ashes and various components of his altar from the mantel to the top of my glassed-in shelves. I am struggling to move forward, but I know I need to try harder to put one foot in front of the other again, even though it hurts. Small things remind me of my brother all day long and then I'm right back where I started.  Grief is difficult that way.  

 

So I look around for good things. Here are a few: 

 

There are a handful of hummingbirds who come to our feeders regularly. One is tiny, maybe the first of the new crop of hummingbirds. We bought a couple of new feeders to add to the three we have already. I need to get up and make some nectar to put out for them actually. When it's hot, the feeders need to be changed more frequently to prevent bacterial growth that can make the birds sick. The last thing I need on my soul is the death of a hummingbird.

 

Our passports came in recently--Dave's last week and mine day before yesterday. We both got books and cards even though the cards are not allowed to be used for international air travel. We don't need the cards, but I wanted one so we got them. I think it was around $35 extra. I look terrible in my photo--but I tend to look terrible in most photos, even photos that I look good in. (Now at least we can manage to flee the country if we need to--something I think is going through lots of people's minds recently.)

 

I finished reading another book, Onions in the Stew by Betty MacDonald. I really like her stuff. She's funny and personable so reading her stuff is like chatting with a good friend. I didn't want to end the visit, so I read a bit of a page a day until it was clear that I had to finish the book--or drop my reading rate down to a couple of words a day.  This book is the last of her autobiographical works, written when she was in her 40s. Soon after it was published she died of cancer, age 50. Can you imagine?

 

Okay, I see that even looking around for good things is tinged with some darkness in there. There is little purity to the good things these days, which is hard to deal with. Even if I stay away from the news.