The Weekend!

The Newbie & Grandma
Originally uploaded by Tokyorosa

On Sunday, The Newbie and her entourage (her mama and grandma) and Dave and I, all drove down to T or C to meet with The Newbie's great-grandparents. That's a photo of The Newbie with her great-grandma (my mom). They were playing a tickling game; it was very cute. The Newbie is getting older and louder and much more interactive, which makes her a lot more interesting. When she was younger, we pretty much just sat around staring at her, like we were reenacting the Nativity.



We all met up in a restaurant in T or C, La Cocinita (The Little Kitchen), and I--well, everyone really--gorged on too, too salty food, tacos and nachos and the head-sized sopapillas (seen above) with honey. My mom fed The Newbie beans, which she loved.

That was Saturday.

On Sunday, Kelly First, Dave and I went to this thing, this art thing, that's practically in my neighborhood. Dave bought a gift for his mama's birthday (which was, like, last week sometime) and we saw lots of cool art and lots of not so cool art.

That afternoon, I met The Newbie's mama at the gym. We did some cardio and had some time to chat. The Newbie's mama is coming around to the realization that parenthood requires some degree of planning and dedication, that great kids don't just happen by luck. So good, that. But it's still very frustrating to me to talk with her sometimes because she is very Pollyannaish (whereas I was once called, by a guy I was dating, the "anti-Pollyanna"). But she's coming around, and maybe I'm coming around, too.

After the gym, Dave decided he wanted to run the gauntlet, the Whole Foods gauntlet. The Whole Foods gauntlet is enormously better than the Trader Joe's gauntlet, because at Whole Foods, I rarely want to harm anyone, whereas Trader Joe's makes me want to commit especially heinous criminal acts. But we made it. And as a bonus, we had this cashier who was wearing bright blue eyeshadow and big, big fake eyelashes and she sang while she scanned everything. Dave said she even sang to the produce. She kinda reminded me of this:



Which means it's love.

That was Sunday.

Ah, Palin

And apparently no blog entry would be complete without my mentioning the new reining queen of the universe, Sarah Palin. I spent part of the weekend crafting comments and letters to The New York Times in the style of Ms. Palin and, more often than not, they were rejected or deleted by the Times monitors. Go figure. But here are a couple of them for your reading pleasure:

Well I for one am glad you brought up education, Charlie. Can I call you Charlie?

I–and the many Americans I’m talking to–are sick about this, the failure of the educational system for me and which has failed many families like me. John McCain has a plan for ending this failure such as and also for improving the No VP Left Behind Program that has failed so many like me in its failure.

Charlie, now let me ask you, did you know that ninety-five percent of native English speakers have no other native language but English? That’s a failure of our education system and John McCain aims to fix that. And–oh–it has to be about job creation, too, in our educational system that is failing to improve our health care reform.

Barack Obama has failed to address this failure of raising taxes on small business owners which affects health care reform education and job creation….

…and on and on, ad nauseum.

That was rejected. And this?

Aw, shucks, Tobin. Can I call you Tobin?

There ya go again, just like a gosh darn media elite, tryin’ to tell these American people what they oughta think about Sarah Palin.

Let me tell you, Tobin: Joe Six-Pack is one of those fundamentals of our economy such as John McCain is talking about and his gal Missus Six-Pack and all the Lil’ Six-Packs on Main Street there also know that Palin is the real maverick who is gonna bring change to this gosh darn government that’s gotten too big to let Freddie Mae and Fanny Mac take care of them. Palin’s gonna put an end to that because it’s about change.

And also they’re worried about health care reform and it’s gotta be all about job creation in order to end this financial crisis and health care reform.

Why, Tobin, let me ask you something, now why would you question your own Mr. Brooks and Missus Peggy Noonan who stand up for the truth like shining cities on hills that stand up for the American people who would suffer under Barack Obama who wants to raise our taxes, such as….

…and on…and on…ad nauseum.

Palin is like a low-rent version of Lorelei Lee from “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.” I half expected her to end her closing statement with a coy little, “Thank you ever so!”

That was also rejected. But this was accepted:

Mm-mm-mm. A journalism major who can’t name a single newspaper or magazine? A VP candidate who can’t name a single Supreme Court decision? I–and the Americans I am talking to–are just sick about this failure on the part of our American educational system which has failed this poor woman. I’m glad you brought up education. Because under John McCain, the No VP Left Behind program will succeed with John McCain at the helm. Such as. And more education means more job creation for our healthcare reform needs.

Teflon Sarah! Wink-wink!

And accepted, this comment in response to David Brooks's column in which he praised Palin's performance at the VP debate while he squirmed and squirmed to try to hide the Palin-inspired erection in his pants:

Surely you're not serious with this column extolling Palin's oratorical success? All she had to do was not put both feet in her mouth at the same time and Republicans would rush to embrace her as the prodigal daughter.

The rest of us however, those uncouth voters in the flyover states, the ones who you believe swallow Palin's folksy fakery hook, line, and sinker? Well, we saw her for the snake that she is, all a-hissin' and a-slitherin' her way through the grass.

It isn't Couric interview vs. VP debate when it comes to judgin' Palin. Gosh darn it, we're lookin' at her failures as a governor. We're lookin' at Troopergate. We're lookin' at her inability to even give an interview without a handler or without leavin' a doggone firestorm of excuses in her wake.

You betcha!

Ah, Sarah. Here's your crown, what's your hurry?