Sunday, June 17, 2018

Manic? Hypomanic?

It rained all morning yesterday. In the afternoon, there was a joyful thundershower and yet more rain. The humidity level stayed around 70% (today it's slightly higher) which is a rarity in the desert.

I did laundry overnight (couldn't sleep, more on that in a minute) which I'm sure will take forever to dry.

So, sleep. My sleep schedule is even more messed up than usual right now. I'm not sure if it's the storms rolling through or school stress or PMS or what, but I have not been sleeping at night. Or during the day. Or at all, really. I got about ninety minutes of sleep Friday night, woke up with a nightmarish dream (the floor of the casita was covered with bed bugs and Dave and I were pouring gallons of rubbing alcohol on them and they were dying in droves), and then I couldn't get back to sleep. Finally around noon on Saturday, I took some benadryl and slept for about three hours. I got back to sleep Saturday night around 10:30 or so and slept until 1:30 in the morning. I've been up since.

It's weird: Except for Saturday, just before I took the benadryl, I don't feel that tired. I've had maybe four cups of coffee in two days, which is an average amount for me to have, so I'm not being propped up with caffeine. However, I have been eating like a garbage truck. Stress eating and no sleep eating and my usual binge eating habits are all colliding and it hasn't been pretty. Last night I ate a whole bag (three+ servings) of vegan crab cakes and a half a bag of frozen french fries. And I followed it up with a bowl of cereal. And that was just dinner. During an overnight study break, around 2:30 or 3:00 a.m., I made bean and cheese nachos. And then for breakfast around 6:00 a.m. I had yogurt and honey with my coffee...

So, yes, I've been eating. I've also been watching Netflix and youtube and doing laundry and homework. I watched an entire youtube series by a young Canadian woman who travels throughout North America dancing at pow wows. I watched half a season of Frasier on Netflix. I did two big loads of laundry. I finished up the group paper on Friday night. I wrote my part (the lion's share, actually) of a second group project on ventilator use in the ICU on Saturday. And last night--Saturday night--I burned through the bulk of a third project on septic shock management (while doing laundry, which I finished up this morning around 7 a.m.). The paper is due on Monday at 4:00 a.m. (but I submitted it this morning before 5:00 a.m.), the vent project is due on Thursday, and I have to present the septic shock project on Friday morning, my last day of this clinical rotation.

This week, I also have two exams, neither of which I've yet studied for. One is on Tuesday, the other is on Wednesday. Today I have plans to go to lunch with my mother and brother and to run errands with my brother. I also have to iron my scrubs (if they ever dry) and prep for the week ahead.

God, reading over this, I'm, like, am I manic? Hypomanic? What is going on here?


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