Anxious

 I finished my quilt yesterday morning, while Dave was out at the dentist. I sashed the last bit then cut and added a border. Since it's a string quilt and it took me over two years to make, I called it "Strung out." I wrote that on the back of the quilt in indelible marker, along with my initials and the approximate dates when it was started and when I finished it. And then it was done. It is in bad need of a washing, of course, which I'll do sometime soon.

After I finished the quilt, I took a shower and spent some time--too much time--on the internet.  I also listened to a 30 minute guided meditation from the same program I mentioned yesterday.

In the afternoon, we went out for a fizzy drink and some mozzarella sticks, and then we came home and...what did I do? Probably a nap. More internet time. I don't remember. Covid time runs very strangely, especially these days, mixed with the spikes of anxiety I've been having. 

Because I had been up since about two or so in the morning,  I ended up falling asleep very early. I woke up for a few hours, had something to eat for dinner and pulled out another unfinished project (a red-and-white, improvisationally pieced quilt that I started about a year and a half or more ago), and then went back to bed. I repeated this waking up and sleeping pattern until about four a.m. I woke up from a dream that included the actor Armie Hammer and crossing a busy street in NYC to buy tickets to a Broadway show. I woke up with Gray Kitty curled under my right arm, something that he does so rarely that I'd be comfortable saying that he never does it. He often curls up with Dave, but with me, it tends to be when he's not feeling well. I hope that's not the case, but it's hard to tell with him because he, like many cats, can't speak English. We have to try to interpret his actions; sometimes we even get it right. (However, he has recently been running under the bed whenever either of us approach the closet where we keep the carrier we use to take him to the vet, so I'm assuming that he isn't feeling well and is trying to anticipate a vet visit, something he hates almost more than anything.)

That brings us to now-ish.

I got up, checked my blood sugar, weighed myself, and made breakfast (my usual frozen blueberries, soy yogurt, flax meal, and sunflower seeds). I let Gray Kitty out and then let Gray Kitty back in. While I ate my breakfast, I journaled in my art journal. A lone blueberry covered in yogurt and flax escaped my spoon and rolled down my front, staining my shirt. Of course.

I did the dishes from last night and swept the kitchen and bathroom. I made a cup of coffee.

I opened my computer up to write this.

For the last several days I've been, as I said, dealing with major anxiety. I used to have to assess anxiety levels in the kids I worked with and they were taught to rate their anxiety on a scale of one to four with one being okay and four being the worst anxiety they'd ever had. Mine has been in the 3 to 4 range these days.